Best & Worst Analyst

This is kind of a continuation of the best and worst announcers I did last week.

Analysts are either informative, enjoyable, annoying, obvious, or worthless. By that last one I mean the guy who is really nervous seeing as he just got the job and doesn't speak up very often. But those guys usually don't make it long so they are not on this list. Here goes...


THE BEST

John Madden - Easily the best NFL analyst ever. He is entertaining and informative. He pretty much owned the show when he was with Pat Summerall because Pat just let him have the mic. And he was still good with Al Michaels. He was great at analyzing plays because he never went into too much detail like Ron Jawarski does, just a few lines on the telastrator and a "Wham", "Boom", and a "Pop" and there you have it.

Todd Blackledge - I like Blackledge, he knows football. I think he'd rather be doing Big 10 than SEC but I can't blame him since he went to Penn State. But I'm glad he's doing SEC games because he's really good...and he does the "taste of the town", joining two of my favorite pastimes - football and food. Too bad he gets paired with the doufus Mike Patrick.

Phil Simms - Simms is a good analyst. Him and Jim Nantz are easily the best NFL broadcast duo going right now. He's solid.

Joe Simpson - He's been a Braves announcer for 20 years. He does almost every television game so I hear him a lot and he's one of the best. And he's even got to do some Division Series games with TBS in recent years. He knows what he talking about and keeps the game interesting even though he gets paired with Chip Carey. Luckily, this year he announces with Ernie Johnson, Jr. or John Smoltz on Peachtree TV which makes for a really enjoyable broadcast.

Kirk Herbstreit - Why ESPN & ABC have him doing College Gameday in one part of the country and then flying to a game on the other side of the country is a mystery to me. Maybe he's got some TVs on the plane and he doesn't care. Nevertheless, he's pretty good. He's great on Gameday, and I think he'd be better if he wasn't paired with Musburger who prompts him into talking about the national landscape for 30 minutes while a game is being played.

Bob Griese - Griese is good, and he sticks to calling the game. He knows what he's talking about and he's not afraid to speak the truth. He used to be at the top when Keith Jackson was ABC's lead man for college football, but I think he's pissed a bunch of people off behind the scenes and he's been relegated to the 4th Big 10 game every week.

Gary Danielson - "Yeah, Verne, I just don't know. It's not clear to me. I've got to go with the official's call on the field. It's just inconclusive to me." That pretty much sums up every instant replay on the SEC game of the week. Other than Gary never knowing what the ruling should be, he is pretty good...mostly because you can tell he has done his homework - watching tape all week. He really wants to do a good job which is nice.

Jimmy Dykes - I like basketball but don't know all the ends and outs, Dykes does a good job of explaining them. He does his homework and knows every player well. Usually when an analyst does a State game they are all wrong about the players, he is usually right.

Dan Dierdorf - "Wow, he got hit hard!", "I'm glad I don't have to go up against this defense". He oversells the game a little bit but I find him to be pretty good. He knows what he's talking about and doesn't hog the mic.

Cris Collinsworth - He's pretty good. I don't know how he can sit in a booth with Bryant Gumbel but I hand it to him that he hasn't punched his lights out by now.

Billy Packer - I never had a problem during a game with Packer until he started complaining. Maybe it would only last for 5 seconds, or maybe he'd rant for 5 minutes about something. He was a grumpy old man but he knew basketball, broadcasting about 30 straight NCAA basketball championship games. I never thought he was as bad as people made him out to be.

Troy Aikman - Aikman brings a little life to the dullness of Joe Buck. If this was baseball he'd fall asleep 10 minutes into the game. Fortunately for Buck, McCarver talks to much to fall asleep in baseball. Aikman knows what he's talking about and does a fair job. He's definitely the #1 analyst FOX has.

Clark Kellogg - Alliteration was obviously Clark's strong suite in grammar school. "The seriously scintillating super-star supreme is acting absolute among all-Americans". Is there any need for this? His move from the studio to court-side has improved my view of him since he doesn't have time to make up these ridiculous alliterations during the game. He's done better than Billy Packer as Jim Nantz' sidekick.


THE WORST

Dick Vitale - Without a doubt the most annoying analyst in history. Punishment for criminals should be listening to him with Bryant Gumbel broadcast a game. Fortunately that duo hasn't happened. All the Duke love, all the yelling, all the annoying catch-phrases. Shut-up, aren't you in your 70s? He was in Starkville to do a game while I was in college and before the game he came out to the student section and told them he wanted to crowd surf and get it on camera. This guy is a camera hog, and just wants to get his ugly mug on TV to spout off his bogus opinions. None of this has even touched on him terrible call of the game in which he relays through the NFL, baseball, breast cancer awareness, global warming, the last restaurant he went to, how great his wife is, and of course how Coach K is the prettiest man alive.

Jay Bilas - Maybe the biggest elitist of all broadcasters, his Duke 'I'm smarter than you' attitude is really annoying. He's constantly bashing any school outside the ACC or Big East and claiming anyone who thinks differently is an idiot.

Dave Rowe - "The goal here is to get 10 yards so they'll have a first down". That is the kind of insight you get from Dave Rowe. Hey, no wonder I can't find him on college football broadcasts anymore.

Bill Walton - The incredibly (1) annoying (2) lisping (3) hippie was a penchant for using three adjectives to describe everything in the NBA. I can do without the long descriptions of how "wonderfully majestically serene" a player is.

Bill Raftery - (At every tip-off) "Well, Mr. Lunquist, starting off with some man-to-man from Mr. Pearl!" or "2-3 zone a killer from the green and white!". Nothing like that weird voice he does to describe a defense on every single tip-off. And don't forget, "the kiss!" or "nothing but nylon! the assassin!" Bill, really, aren't you a little old for this. Good thing for you Dickie V is around or you'd be the aging hipster doufus of college basketball.

All FOX NFL Analysts - Just line up the parade of worthless chumps who try to imitate John Madden. "I love the way he hits, he's a real football player, a tough guy." They all sound the same, they've got to get some different personalities in there instead of the same meat-heads.

Ron Jaworski - "He sees the eyes of the quarterback as he rolls out, and watch as he signals the safety to watch for the tight end...now comes the part that separates the men from the boys - the hook and dive....he'll hook the guard and dive to sack the quarterback for a loss of 3 yards! That is how it's done!" Please, Ron, can you dissect another play?

Tony Kornheiser - He's good on PTI, but his experiment on Monday Night Football was excruciating. Absolutely terrible, he was trying to be funny but it just came off as awkward and stupid. MNF was unwatchable when he was in the booth.

Tim McCarver - Captain of the obvious, and master of long, drawn-out, pointlessly detailed descriptions of what we can see on the TV screen. "Well you see, Joe, the catcher lines up behind the plate, and when he does that he is in front of the umpire. Now the umpire sometimes puts his hand on the catcher, but sometimes he doesn't. When I was a catcher I liked to line up behind the plate, but I always said to the umpire, don't hold onto my gear. You see, if he holds onto my gear, I won't like it. I think Jorge Posada is doing the same thing now. He's lining up behind the plate, and he's telling the home plate umpire not to hold on to his gear. This could cause Posada to be uncomfortable and he won't like it. That is what they are talking about, Joe. That, or the strikezone."

Joe Morgan - I've gone back and forth with Morgan over the years. He's always done Sunday Night Baseball and he did the World Series when NBC had it prior to FOX. He is insightful but there is a constant bickering about today's players that gets annoying. No one is ever as good as they were in the 1970s. I'm tired of him.

This was part 2 of a 4 part series. I'll do the best and worst sideline reporters next week.